Interview: Santa Admits Causing Global Warming

Posted on December 17, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized |

In a report due to be released this Thursday in San Francisco, NASA scientists will reveal satellite imagery indicating that over 2 trillion tons of polar land ice World Santa Claus Congress 2008 by Maltesenhas melted since 2003, we contacted the most famous polar resident to get his reaction.

In the following exclusive pre-Christmas interview, Inspired Economist investigative reporter Ramsay Mameesh, asks Santa Claus about his role in causing global warming and the dangers it poses for his business.  As well as China’s effect on North Pole Industries’ toy market share.  And how the economic downturn is impacting toy production.

Ramsay Mameesh:  Santa Claus, thank you so much for agreeing to do an interview with the Inspired Economist, I know you’re a busy man so close to Christmas.  I think everyone is familiar with who you are, so to save time I’ll skip the usual introduction, and get straight to questions.   Do you feel any sense of responsibility for our current climate crisis?

Santa Claus: Ho, Ho, Ho.  I see you’re still upset about not getting the Tonka Truck Fire Engine that one Christmas!

RM: Yeah, something like that.  But seriously, don’t you think the culture of consumption that you personally promote, is directly responsible for melting polar ice-caps?  I mean, you may be driving yourself out of business, doesn’t that concern you?

Santa Claus: Yes, we are very concerned about climate change, and that’s why I have appointed a special committee of Elves to explore solutions.  One of the Elf’s suggestions is that we begin using Reindeer poop, to power our facilities, instead of coal.   It’s sort of a nasty Catch-22, North Pole Industries is a toy manufacturer, and if we don’t produce  toys we’re out of business.  On the other hand, over consumption is causing climate change, and endangering our manufacturing facilities.  I want to assure you, and all the good boys and girls, that as CEO of North Pole Industries we will find creative solutions.  Christmas will continue.

RM:  That’s good to know, I’m sure children around the world, will be relieved to hear that Christmas will continue.  However, you did not answer my question, are you willing to admit for the record that you played a key role in causing global warming?

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